追求完美...

2010-06-04T08:41:00.003+08:00

Haven't been blogging for half a year... Life is busy and work is hectic, lucky I have my beloved friends standing by my side and a caring, loving and understanding someone with me all these while.

Been and back from Australia since January, the workload there is really so much lesser. Documentation is only once a day, having only 4 to 6 patients to take care of... When will Singapore healthcare be able to do this. Back here in Singapore, 3 nurses to 14 to 16 patients, but there are nurses who still cannot cope, still complain of busy and tired, and then they will take MCs... Worse of all, sometimes they cant even complete their work and then pass over to the other shifts. Remember those days when nurses here was taking care of 16 patients with only 2 nurses, they still finish their work, complete their tasks before passing over. Is it because nurses nowadays are more pamper or this is the latest trend?

Infection control is giving me headache... In books and in reality is so much of difference. What books had written seems to be so difficult to fulfill in reality... Books will tell you to wear all your protective stuffs to enter a cubicle, but in reality who will do? To them, even sometimes I do find it ridiculous to do it, but no choice, if I don't do it, people will say I as infection control nurse never do it, why must they do it... Worse of all, overheard a conversation. A nurse from our ward go to my previous ward and tell the nurses there,"Do you know our ward is so troublesome, need to wear all the protective stuffs and answer a call bell, if patient ask for urinal need to degown, go and take the urinal and come back wear up those stuffs and give to the patient!" I will definitely go and tell this nurse, cant you ask someone to get the urinal for you and you wait in that cubicle for a while. Sigh...

For a friend of mine, that I always thought that you are by my side, but now it seems that you have gone and I never know how to treat you the same again. You have changed... Now you ignored me, maybe you have your own reasons, your own thinking... So be it, I wont bother you anymore.

For the one who had always been with me all these while.

Thanks for showering me with love and concern always.
Thanks for waiting for me for the 8 weeks that I was not around.
Thanks for tolerating with all my nonsenses.
Thanks for making an effort to send me to work whenever I am on night.
Thanks for making everything in our relationship possible.

You made me know that even the whole world have changed,
Your love for me will never change and I will never be alone.

I love you much!

Society Rules On; TIPPLES

2009-09-10T23:21:00.000+08:00

A lady should never drink alone, unless of course the lady is trying to avoid sharing her fine liqueur chocolates. Then it's more than appropriate to enjoy the night bu one's self. Or the French say,"Par son individu, oh, another chocolate for moi?" Don't mind if I do.

2009-08-27T08:58:00.003+08:00

Today is my off day... I like my schedule for these 2 weeks, because my off days are spread nicely.

Decided to go Australia for HMDP, six weeks with one year of bond. Whenever I think of the bond, I feel that I shouldn't be going again. Confused. Alot of preparation need to be done, so many documents, some more need to go to CID to get International Clearance Letter, health checkup and many more.

After back from my leave, Monday was the day I have the mood to start to work. So messy, everything in the team that I was in is so messy.

Medication problem, drug was supposed to be omitted but no one bother to ask the team Drs to discontinue it, and some people just serve it because they don't know it need to be omitted. Worse of all, now there is a 'FUNCTIONAL NURSE', is it really helpful?

Updating family members on their relatives' condition, shouldn't the team Drs make an effort to do it, especially for those difficult family. But what have all the team Drs been doing! Two cases in less than one week in the same team, same cubicle with the same team Drs.

STO due 4 days ago, no one notice, not even the team Drs. And I have to spent 45 minutes doing the STO when some stitches have already been embedded by the healing skin.

Speechless at work nowadays, where are all the standards and quality of care that I used to see when I started working. Experience kills passion, is it true?

Don't Cry...

2009-08-22T15:22:00.001+08:00

Nice song!!! The lyrics!

也是你说不爱我了
也是你又出现在门口

雪花坠落碎了一地的天空
那么痛你还走过
也许你想念我
也许你放不开手

我的温柔面对面
我们安安静静吹着风
我只想再看一次
你眼里的海市蜃楼

我爱你
丢掉了会笑的自己
用掉了所有的力气
没有关系

我并不很想听你说对不起
可是到这里就可以
很高兴我认识过你

不哭了
我要你放心我已经痊愈

2009-08-19T23:39:00.003+08:00

Today is the first day I went back to work after 10 days of leave. It was such a busy day, I forgot to bring my handphone to work, I got no time to have a good dinner and I was so hungry, GASTRIC PAIN! Then after I served finish medication, I cleaned my medication trolley, I saw blood! My index finger got injured, got a cut and it was bleeding. Then I put plaster & tegederm, my usual practice. While waiting for my colleague, I removed the plaster & tegederm, my usual practice too, but blood start to flow out. It's only a small cut, but painful & bleed so much, no choice to apply the plaster till now... Urgh! Lousy day...

Tomorrow will be a better day... Because I am on night shift!

2009-08-17T20:33:00.002+08:00

Today is the first time I went to the food court at Tampines One, never had knew that the window seat at the food court bring a nice view too. I think I grow older already, I remembered I off my mp3 when I meet my friend, but on my way to meet my other friends, I realised my mp3 is still on... OMG! Process of aging! Went to Chinatown, we walked from Bugis to Chinatown, thanks to the 2 of you who walk with me. I know is very very far. But I like the bubble tea there...

On our way back, you ask me about the future of my job, when i wanted to become a SSN, is it for me to say... Actually I had never thought of it anymore. I am numb to my job already, I cannot find back the passion that I once have, everyday I go to work I just tell myself that: As long as my patients are okay, I did my best for them, give them the best nursing care, is enought already. Even to further my studies in Masters or not, I am still in a dilema. In the past, I thought of studying till PhD but now, I want to do other things, in other line. At times, I regretted going for advanced diploma, if I don't go for that, I won't be in CGH anymore, won't be doing this job anymore...

2009-08-17T01:22:00.002+08:00

"Elain, your blog is too emo, are you okay?" Lots of close friends have been telling me this since so many months ago. Late at night now and I still can't sleep, listening to "说好的幸福呢" and reading my own entries in my blog. Though I have been putting in alot of entries, I have not spent time reading thru. Browsing thru the entries, alot of images, memories, all came back alive.

I was once a girl, who was a princess in his eyes. Showering me with all the love that I needed. Now I am a girl, who need to be independent. Months have past, I have not learn to be independent yet, because around me I always have my closest friends. Whenever I need someone to be beside, need someone to lie on, need someone to love me, my dearest friends will always be my my side. I am still learning to be independent, learning to stand on my own, but things aren't that easy. I may look strong on the outside but because I cannot stand people who cry in front of me, so I also have learnt not to cry in front of others anymore. Except once, that one and only time I got drunk and cried. There won't be a second time, I must not get hurt again and behave that way again. But deep inside, I know I am so much more easily hurt than anyone else...

2009-08-16T09:09:00.001+08:00

I only manage to sleep at 4am, and now 8.40am I am awake already, my hands and legs are cold. Awaken by the dream of mine, I am crazy, literally I dreamt of you and her. The distance bewteen us have not make me not to remember you but to make me miss you even more. I hate myself for doing all these. I hate myself when it come to nights, I feel so uneasy, I am not suppose to be like this, I am on leave and I must have plenty of rest. However...

YOU RUIN MY LEAVE, MY MOOD, LET ME CANNOT GO TO SLEEP. FOR SO LONG I WANTED TO HAVE A GOOD AND LONG REST, BUT I CAN'T. I AM CONFUSED NOW, YOU ARE MAKING ME CONFUSED, MAKING ME LOST MY MIND. I AM SICK, I FEEL SO HURT, SO MUCH IN PAIN, SO DEEP THAT WORDS CAN NO LONGER DESCRIBE MY UTMOST FEELING ANYMORE!

For you...

2009-08-16T00:15:00.002+08:00

For my very very close friend,

You told me you were depressed, lost hope and don't wish to talk about it anymore. You cried yesterday, you were sad and heart broken... You said he knows I am unhappy but he doesn't knows you are unhappy. I told you he used the gift you gave to him but you don't feel anything anymore. But two days ago, you told me when he talked to you, you are happy and you started to miss him already.

I know you have feelings for him, not alittle but alot. I am not sure if he knows how you feel about him, but as a friend, a very close friend of yours whom I shared everything with you, I just want to tell you, don't be sad anymore. I am not good in words, not good in consoling people, I can only have a good pair of ears to hear what you want to say. Next thing I can assure you is that, we are just friends, though he may know that I am unhappy but I said before,I will not find someone who is the same occupation as me to be my guy. This is a fact in my life.

Please don't be sad because of him. I can feel and sense you are unhappy and really depressed about it just like when you can feel that I am not myself. If all these stuffs really make you unhappy, just don't remembered it anymore. Learn to be happy ba, I am trying too.

Thousands of loves for you...

爱情

2009-08-13T09:15:00.001+08:00

爱情的世界应该是什么样的?
幸福的，完美的，梦幻的，还是互相欺骗，互相隐瞒的?
这八个月, 看多了, 听多了, 自己也认识了多点事, 多点人了...

在这个世界里,
很多人渴望拥有最好的,
但却往往忘了问自己付出了多少...

反而,
伤害了, 欺骗了周围的人,
还一直认为自己是对的...

2009-08-13T08:40:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, went out with my Neuroscience friends... Listen to them talking about their life and work. Plenty of things flow through my mind. 'You' message me yesterday too, they asked me to reply you, but I didn't...

"It's been already 8 months. Lots of things had happened. For the past 7 years, 12th August is indeed a day that we had never spent alone, no matter how busy I'm with work, with studies or with friends, I will still find time for you. Now that I'm on leave, this leave was booked since last year Dec, it was actually because of yesterday but my love for you no longer exists and it can never be find back, no matter how much you had try and how much i try. I once tell myself, maybe just by looking at those photos, looking at the only video you make when I chose to part, I can find back the feeling, but I can't. By the way, the puzzle, that portion which is not completed, it still remain uncompleted in my room. I am finding time to complete that portion, though is less than 300 pieces, but I am just so lazy to do it, when the day I complete it, will be the day we will both have our perfect and bliss life. Those who know your existence and presence have been telling me, in order to have a perfect and bliss relationship, I can still rely on you, because knowing me is just at your fingertip, I don't need to mention much and you know what I meant but I just cannot spent my life with you anymore. Take care and I believe that you will find your happiness soon."

Meaningful songs!

2009-08-10T11:36:00.001+08:00

哭了

2009-08-06T10:03:00.001+08:00

我哭了，
不是因为太累了，
而是因为喜欢你了。

付出的，
不是因为太在乎，
而是因为怕失去你。

拥有的，
不可能会是一生，
但却会成为永远的记忆。

幸福时，
两人一定很开心，
但一切却是非常短暂的。

2009-07-30T20:41:00.000+08:00

The presence of the other person really sets someone thinking.
Things may be the same, but the feeling is different.
Lost of words, is the only statement that can be used.
Illusion and reality are just words with a margin of difference.

Lost

2009-07-27T18:09:00.001+08:00

I am lost, totally lost.
Sitting at one place but staring into the blank, starting to ask myself what am I doing.

Now I don't know how to describe how I feel anymore.
I don't have the energy to be hurt & cry over things already.

Maybe I know,
but I just don't wish to be hurt, and I act as if I don't know.

Maybe I had already liked you so much,
but I am just acting I don't care, because I don't know what you are thinking.

Life is just full of maybes,
and I am no longer sure anymore.

2009-07-27T18:00:00.000+08:00

I am eating KINDER BUENO... 2nd bar, 3rd bar, and I am continuing to eat, I have 8 bars of KINDER BUENO to eat, I wanna finish all tonight. I love chocolates, I like chocolates. Though it is fattening but I just love chocolates. White chocolates, milk chocolates, all different types of chocolate except dark chocolates, because it is bitter.

Love

2009-07-25T00:42:00.002+08:00

Love is based upon this moment,
It is neither the past nor the future,
The moment may only last a few seconds,
But the memories of it will last for a lifetime.

Always cherish what you have now,
Do what you want to do,
Say what you want to say,
Treat every moment as it is the last moment.

我爱你...

2009-07-17T01:06:00.004+08:00

我都不曾想过，
那既然是我们俩人最后一次的约会.
我还没机会亲口对你说一声我爱你,
就这样，你远离了我.

如果时间可以回到那一晚,
我心里最想告诉你的就是我爱你...

如果有一天能在遇见你,
我只能对你傻笑.
我已经没话说了,
也不会再挽留你.

我只想说一句,
谢谢你曾经爱过我, 让我拥有过最美好的回忆...

对说有想拥有与渴望爱情的人,
爱情本来就需要百分百的勇敢.
虽然偶尔会悲伤,
但也要鼓起勇气熬过这一切.

因为在爱情里, 爱过与分手后,
是不会对彼此互相埋怨, 只会让彼此留下许多美好的回忆...

Shopping spree...

2009-07-16T01:43:00.000+08:00

Today went shopping with my girlfriend. I love to shop but it seems like I have not shop for a very very long time. Though I had just shopped last week. Sigh... Walked pass many shops today in town, bringing back lots of memories. Both good and bad...

Last week, bought a top, two watches and two pair of shoes. Today, bought a bag and necklace. Nice, I like it... Pink n rainbow color. My favorite. Craving for brownie yesterday, and I ate it today. Unbelievable, ate two brownies at one go. So nice and so yummy. In fact, this week i ate three brownies already. So sinful, how many exercise must I do to shed the weight away?!

Kiss the rain

2009-07-15T21:22:00.003+08:00

I will always love you

I often close my eyes
And I can see you smile
You reach out for my hand
And i can woken from my dream
Although your heart is mine
It's hollow inside
I never had your love and I never will

And every night I lie awake
Thinking maybe you love me
Liked I've always love you
But how can you
Love me like I loved you
When you can't even look me straight in my eyes

I've never felt this way
To be so in love
To have someone there
Yet feel so alone

Aren't you suppose to be
The one to wipe my tears
The one who say that you would never leave

The water is calm and still
My reflection is there
I see you holding me
But then you disappear
All that is left of you is a memory
One that only exists in my dreams

And every night I lie awake
Thinking maybe you love me
Liked I've always love you
But how can you
Love me like I loved you
When you can't even look me straight in my eyes

I don't know what hurt you
But I can feel it too
And it just hurts so much
To know that I can't do a thing
And deep down in my heart
Somehow I just know that
No matter what I will always love you

I often close my eyes
And I can see you smile
You reach out for my hand
And i can woken from my dream
Although your heart is mine
It's hollow inside
I never had your love and I never will

So why am I still here in the rain...

Music by: Yiruma
Lyrics by: Hienie

Missing you

2009-07-12T01:32:00.002+08:00

我开始想你了...

我一直都以为没有你，
我还是一样能过的很快乐，
可是我错了.

虽然我与你相处的时间是如此短占，
但却以足够填满我心里的空虚，
让我显得无法自拔，
让我如此的心痛.

我相信你所让我拥有过的一切，
将会是我人生最美好的回忆，
谢谢你在我最无助的时候，
陪伴我一起度过.

NICE SONG!

2009-07-09T01:53:00.000+08:00

2009-07-05T21:00:00.003+08:00

This is the first time I said NO to you. I don't know what make me have the courage to say that. These half a year you have taught me so much. If the world can stop spinning, time can stop at the point where we enjoyed each other company so much, I know I will never say this word NO to you. Now, I had no more strengths and energy to fight over things that I had wanted so much once. I am already tired, what I need is different from what I want anymore. You can't give me a shoulder to lie on, even if you can, the next moment it'll be gone. However, glad that you have entered my life, taken away my soul once, to allow me to know, how much I have loved you and wanted to cherish you before. Now that we are both leading our own lives, maybe we should be just what we were once, just simply friends. Let me just carry all the good memories along with me and discard away all the unhappy stuffs that had happened. Guy, history must not repeat itself again.

To the other, whom I am so disappointed with what we are now. Though I no longer know what we are anymore. But thanks for the effort that you have spent once. For as long as I live till now, you are the only one who really did so much for me, I had really enjoy and I will never forget those days. I know no one can ever replace the acts that you have done for me. But now, while typing these, I have come to terms that all things are never going to be the same again. You will never be back to me anymore. "DON'T MSG ME LIAO." I will take your words.

Rise in H1N1

2009-07-05T20:52:00.003+08:00

H1N1 is on the rise... Already more than 1000 cases in Singapore.

My workplace has opened 2 wards at our level, to admit H1N1 patients. And my ward staffs need to be deploy over. All the people that are being deployed over are people who i can chat with during my work time. That's so unfair. First, Julianne. Then, now Sherlyn. Sad ya, so boring now. No one to chat with during work anymore. Though it might be temporary but it seems like H1N1 is not gotta stop so soon.

People in the community, please, being hygienic is so important and please don't go to countries that are highly affected...

Just For You III...

2009-07-01T06:02:00.001+08:00

Life is never gonna be the same without you.

You are the one that i thought of before going to sleep.
Everyday i wake up, thinking of you.
Missing you, thinking of you, having you around has been a comfortable thing.
Now that you are no longer there, my life seems to be upset down.
I am starting to lose myself.

I am at a lost.

Just For You II...

2009-06-30T09:09:00.003+08:00

I am missing him so badly.

Time seems to pass so slow without him around,
24 hours seem to be like 72 hours.
Life seems to be so monotone without his presence,
Nothing seem to interest me anymore.

I am just not myself anymore.

Just For You I...

2009-06-26T09:28:00.004+08:00

You walk by me everyday and say hello.
Everyday you take time out to listen to me.
You talk to me, laugh with me and have fun with me.

When it ended, my whole identity is shattered.
It's like death.
What is the opposite of two?
A lonely me, a lonely you.

Well, I can talk, smile and laugh too without you.
But inside I'm hurting.
Deep down it hurts.

When I get hurt, it’s like a cut.
It will heal, but there will always be a scar.
Time goes by a lot slower when, I'm missing you.

I know pain is inevitable.
Suffering is optional.
Sadness flies away with the wings of time.
Memories are the best souvenirs.

Hoping and wishing it would make me think of you less.
But it didn't.
As all the times I could remember were, the ones when you showed me that you cared.
I didn't want to believe that you ever did.

Letting go of you is hard,
But holding on to you, whom i don't feel the same anymore is harder.
Life without you is like a broken pencil and there is no point.
Ending it is just like having the worst nightmare after the best dream.

I will not be sad for what is over.
As a best dream has always the coldest end.
The best way to mend a broken heart is time.
My heart had fought for what it wanted once.
But now my heart is having to fight to let you go.

There is nothing much sadder in this life,
than to watch you walk away.
To watch the distance between us distant,
Until there is nothing left but empty space and silence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't ever give up if you still want to try.
Don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry.
Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know.
Don't ever say you don't love someone if you can't let them go.
Don't say we're not right for each other, as we're not meant for anyone else.

First & Last

2009-06-25T03:00:00.003+08:00

For you,

Even a wake up call now is so difficult.
I know it is because of that message. You changed. You can denied but i won't sense wrong.
Thanks for telling me that you had receive that message.

From e start, e 1st day, i know we cannot be together.
And when we know each other, you have told me you still like your ex & obviously you known mine story too.
So we know clearly that we wont be ending up together.

When we are back, we went out together for a lot of times.
Maybe we are just too close, and now we realize that we are indeed too close which we are not suppose to.
From strangers to friends.
True enough, these few weeks i always have you by my side to accompany me to go wherever i want, do whatever i want & i might not be comfortable w/o you.
From the start that we had been always going out, i know it will end also.
Seriously, I had never expect anything from you.

But now, what are we... Giving a wake up call to me from you, just to make sure i wont be late is such a difficult task.
You were never like that in the past.
You will sure say you didn't changed but ask & answer yourself truthfully.
"Have you changed?"

A lot of things have been pondering in my mind but i just don't say anything.
But actions from you these days prove me to be right.
In 10 hours time, we are going to meet. I have been thinking for a very long time, should you go alone, or should we go together...
I don't know seriously, even till this minute that i am typing this at 3am, i am still thinking.

I have not been feeling well these days, even now, i hate medication & i don't eat them at all.
I am tired, i am not comfortable at all.
There are times which i want to sleep but i just cant sleep. No matter how tired i am. I just feel like nagging to you till I'm tired & sleep.
But things are no longer the same again.

Do you know, you are hurting me real bad...

2009-06-21T01:40:00.000+08:00

Today is the 5th day.

I am trying to learn how to be alone, having nobody by my side. I wasn't alone for 7 years, even till 5 days ago. I always had someone, somebody to talk to, to lean on, to cry on, to listen to my nonsense all the while.

But till 5 days ago, I know i must learn to be alone, going back to the life that I don't even remember how I live it 7 years ago. I have colleagues, good friends, around me to accompany me wherever i want to go, accompany to do things i want to do, but I am still so uncomfortable with it.

I am not been feeling well for the past few days. I really wish to sleep at home and not go to work. But when I am at home, I am so bored, feeling so empty throughout. I don't want to be alone, so though I'm not well I'll still work. I rather keep myself busy, than wasting my time to rest at home. I will be going on leave from the 29th June to 3rd July, but most probably I'll cancel it, hope she will approve...

2009-06-20T06:16:00.002+08:00

It happened too fast and too much happened,
When you came to realize the importance,
Being comfortable with life,
The beginning of the end has to be started...

Knowing the beginning of the end has to be started,
It shouldn't had happened,
From the start things can be controlled,
But eventually the ends still had to begin...

KISS- Because Im A Girl

2009-06-19T11:02:00.001+08:00

The English version...

It's impossible to understand what's going through a guy's heart
You told me that you wanted me and now that I've given you everything
You tell me you're leaving
You told me that it was the first time you felt this way, and said that I was special
I believed you... And it was my happiness
You should have told me that your feelings had faded
I had no idea, and I continued to depend on you

Although I say I hate you now, I'll be missing you
Because I'm a gal to whom,love is everything...

They say when you give a guy all he wants he quickly get bored
And now I know, that's the truth
And although I tell myself, I'll never be tricked by love again
I fall in love, and my heart is broken again

You should have told me that your feelings had faded
I had no idea, and I continued to depend on you
Although I say I hate you now, I'll be missing you
Because I'm a gal to whom,love is everything...

Please don't break the hearts of girls, who will do anything for love
I didn't know that living this life, whiled being in loved would be so hard

Today we broke up,
You told me to meet someone better than you, and be happy,
You're just like all other guys,
What happened to when you told me that you loved me,
Honestly, i don't want you to be happy.
What am i going to do if you really forget about me...
I'm in so much pain, more pain than i can bare,
Because I'm still in love with you.

Please don't break the hearts of girls, who will do anything for love
I didn't know that living this life whiled being in loved would be so hard
Although I say I hate you now, I'll be missing you
Because I'm a gal to whom,love is everything...

There's someone I'm in love with,
Although i can't be with her now,
I'm still in love with her...

Saying goodbye...

2009-06-18T12:28:00.004+08:00

It all begin somewhere. Saying goodbye to someone significant, is the beginning of something else to come. Looking back, I've come to realized that some things that are lost may never be found again. And perhaps, it's for the best interest of everyone that it can never be found. I've also learn that sometimes losing something may be the antecedent to bring something better. Something beyond what you might have pictured your life to be in future.

Its so easy to fall in love and fall out of love. The real challenge is staying in love. Like the saying goes, love is an action and not merely a word. It is not love until you given it away. Love can also hurt. If it doesn't, it probably isn't love in the first place. But the hurt that comes from love is there, so that you can find the essence of it in the process of getting over it. I've had to let go of many people in the process of trying to discover what it really means to love someone and be loved in return. And I'm still learning everyday. It hurt badly and the reality of it, is that it never really goes away. It leaves behind scars, which reminds you of them, every now and then when you look close enough. It is however, also through these tiny scars that remind us that we are who we are today because of the priceless gifts that were bestowed to us by people who carved them.

Once upon a time, I've lead a life far from perfect. Along the way i have been burnt, scarred and stabbed. But in return i have also retaliated, to keep my conscience alive. Till date, i still believed that some of them deserved it to the fullest. However to the rest, I'm just regretful things turned out the way it was. Believe me, those were purely unintentional.

To the one who once cared for me, the memories you gave make me smile even till today, thank you for giving me memories that can never be replaced. Because of you, i learn that sometimes you didn't even realize how much i love or need that person until i lose him/her. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. I've finally learn to let go, something which i could never did even when though i was the one who pushed you away. I've come to realize that when somethings just cannot be reconciled, perhaps the only solution is to let myself diminish in the memory of the other. I've finally allowed myself to let go and not look back, hoping that you would lead a better life.

I'm now at a crossroad once again, carrying with me, not the grievances and futile hopes, but rather my invaluable lessons learn and priceless memories, i am now smiling as i choose the path. For i now know and understand that it always starts somewhere. And for me, that somewhere is, learning to let go and look forward, so that i will not allow history to repeat itself and void myself the chance of being truly at bliss. And for that, i have another person to thank. Someone who saw me through my darkened tunnel days when i lost him out of my own doing. Thank you for showing me where i am to begin, and more importantly for holding my hand and walking by my side, down the path less trodden, where i know at the end of the road even if i do not find the pot of gold, at least i still have you as a friend...

Best friends...

2009-06-12T20:27:00.008+08:00

I really like you and it’s true.
You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond to it appropriately.

But I don't really see a relationship in our future.

It would be terrible if we let sex destroys this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want.

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know?

I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel.

You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have I looked at you with desire and longing in my eyes, would you? No!

Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful friendship.

It's just… You're like my best friend, and I would hate you for changing it.

I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little, but what?

How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me, so I can have someone at my beck and call?

That part of our friendship means so much to me.

We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful our last relationship was at the end, remember?

God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again.

It'd be way too weird.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend.

I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you.

If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you.

Let's never lose that. That's what makes us really, really good friends.

Don't worry.

You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it.

And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends.

But if she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.
Best friends & forever friends...

Again...

2009-06-08T10:03:00.003+08:00

In life, it is true that we survive by remembering...
However, at times, we need to survive by forgetting...
To forget is never easy but it is something that had to be learnt...

I know i am starting to sink deeper to things that i have once promise myself...
I am not suppose to have any feelings for u...
I always thought i could do it but i might be wrong this time...

I love you alot but some words are rather left unspoken...

Never ever again...

2009-05-06T13:44:00.005+08:00

I loved you once,
When i was navie.

I loved you twice,
And i couldn't leave.

I was addicted to your love,
Yearned for your kisses,
And addicted to your touch.

But now is your touch that I’m missing,
And it will never be found.

I gave you my heart,
Hoping you would never break it.

But from the start I had a bad feeling,
Especially when you told me you couldn’t take it,
Never in my life had I been so confused.

When you looked into my eyes,
Telling me that we were through,
I cried myself to sleep at night,
Hoping that my tears would make it right.

I couldn’t see my life without you,
So I caught my last breath,
Wishing that all this wasn’t true,
But I just let my veins bleed to death.

Now all this pain will be gone,
And the memories of you will no longer bother me.

And now just before dawn,
I will no longer suffer,
Because of the love we once shared.

I plead...

A small small World...

2009-05-04T17:23:00.011+08:00

Just back from Taipei last night. But tmr gotta work already, Swine flu orange alert somemore...

Went Taipei with a group of people, so concidence when my brother see those pictures that was taken, he says some of them are his friends. The world is so small... I hate to take flights, it only make me more tired, hate the part when the flight is landing, make my ears painful!!! Urgh!

Taipei's weather is nice... Windy and cold. If Singapore could have such weather, it will be wonderful ya. It was a nice trip but need to walk alot, cuz keep walking and shopping, make my legs tired... But some night market really have alot alot of things to shop... But i still cannot find my basket bag. SAD!!!

Catching up...

2009-04-20T12:40:00.011+08:00

Recently just met up with my NS adv dip friends...
It's been long since we last met up, all of us had been busy with our life...

舍不得...

2009-03-18T01:19:00.004+08:00

第一次你陪我坐着
我的手心是空空的
我知道那些简讯声你努力藏着
害怕我难过

不追问到底为什么
是我最后的温柔
想笑着附和说分开是好的
但我们却怎么
一起哭了...

我舍不得
可是时间回不去了
爱你很值得
只是该停了
没有我你要好好的

我舍不得
最后一次抱紧你了
我们错过的
错了就错了
不用担心我
我不爱你了

至少你记忆里的我
是微笑的
亲爱的
有你牵着我的那些日子
真的好快乐

我舍不得
可是时间回不去了
爱你很值得
只是该停了
没有我你要好好的

我舍不得
最后一次抱紧你了
我们错过的
错了就错了
不用担心我
我走了...

Xuan Zi

Forgetting you...

2009-03-06T12:23:00.004+08:00

To forget you is not to remember you.
But every single detail in my life have reflection on you.
Every bus i take, every drink i drink, every place i go.
But to forget you, what i have to do is not to remember you.
Not to remember that we once kissed, not to remember the places we have been together, not to remember the drinks we have shared.

However during late nights, i'm still sinking into the memories of those touched.
I may not remembered the physical touch but the delicacy of it can never be forgetten.
When i tried to forget you, i had actually just thought of you again.
Starting to realised that to forget you is the most impossible thing to do.
To forget is just an interpretation, just an assurance.
An immeasurable love is memories can never be wiped off.

Time will not devour memories.
It just slowly and painfully converts memories into fragments of dreams.
Occasionally, something will spark the wrath of dreams, and the dreams will alter into memories again...

For all dogs' owner

2009-03-06T12:19:00.002+08:00

> Listenly patiently to what i have to say
> Trust me, i am always by your side
> Play with me alot
> Dont forget that i have feelings too
> Let's never fight
> If i dont obey u, i have a good reason
> U have friends n school. But i only have you
> Stay, my best friend, we must get along
> Life is short, make every moment count, every moment together, never forget our life we had spent together
> When my time come, please be by my side

10 promises to my dog

The 8 Sentences

2009-03-06T12:15:00.002+08:00

I am sorry for all the things that had happen between us...

Let me remember all the moments we spent together...
Only you can make a decision for yourself...
Vent out all your unhappiness & i will be your listening ears...
Even the whole world neglect you, i will still be there...

You are someone that had make a difference in my life...
Only you can set my mind thinking...
Understanding & knowing what you want is the most important...

In love, there is only love and dont love.
So if someone is telling you, i love you means the person really love you.
When someone says, i dont love you anymore, they mean it too.

This is Life...

2009-01-29T07:52:00.002+08:00

"Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one that has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind that you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their hearts but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because life is short and now is when you have the chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone else is crying."

Author Unknown

Life

2008-12-05T22:23:00.006+08:00

It's going to come to an end of year 2008. Times flies...

I have finished my advanced diploma & back to my new work environment for 3 months plus.

Finally, i see how a 'C' class ward function. I will always be complaining that the ward is so messy, no matter how many i tidy the cubicle, it will be messy again in less then an hour. People going into the cubicle, coming out of the cubicle. It is not like a 'B2' ward. This new work environment seems nv to be neat. But luckily work wise, there's not much difference. The only thing is this isn't an ortho ward that i used to work in, it is a ward full of different discipline. Especially the discipline that i dislike most, GENERAL SURGERY!!! Having said that, i still learned alot too. So coincidence, i met people that i knew in this ward. And of course, there are still others nice one whom i got to know. Really thanks to them, without them in this ward, i would be asking for transfering soon.

Today, i read a blog of a close friend. After reading the blog, i realise that he/she is someone who is not as carefree as what he/she appear to be. It is so different if u see someone, who is talking & joking to you everyday, suddenly change to be listless, moody & quiet.

But deardear told me, no matter how carefree the person is, he/she will still have ups & downs in his/her life. Maybe what ones experience in life can really make them grow... Hope so...

Dear is now studying. Studying & having exams after i finished... How to accompany me... I m so boring...

Twelve years down the road...

2008-04-10T14:07:00.006+08:00

In 12 years down the road, where should i be???

I used to plan to get a PhD by the age of 30. Then ppl will tell me "You are Crazy!!! For what u study so much..." Goverment won't give you back so much. Then i will tell ppl bcuz i wanna open a hospital of my own. Then ppl will say "Siao!" Even my dear does so...

But after yesterday i think tt will be my goal in life... A building tt will be build up by me in 12 years time. Why do i say so?! I found someone who have had the same dream as me. Haha... So far yet so near, the someone is just in my own neuroscience subgroup. Life is alwys like tt.

So after my advanced diploma, i am going to go for my masters in 1 year time. I have no more time already. Haha...

I need to earn more money, buy a car, earn for my future, earn for my retirement... The road is so far, but the time fly so fast.

School life

2008-02-24T11:05:00.003+08:00

It's been half a year since i had logged in. So many things happen the last few months.

My acheivements from Sept 2007 to Dec 2007
In september 2007, i got my bachelor in nursing certification, salary increment.

In october 2007, i passed my driving practical first attempt.

In november 2007, i went to hongkong for holiday.

In december 2007, i knew i can study for my advanced diplomia for my favourite subject (neuroscience).

January 2008, school terms start. But it seems like school is so much more busy than work.

Week 2: We have got assignment to submit
Week 4: Reflective journals and presentations
And every weeks seems to have so many presentation and journals to write... Never ever can start with our own assignment... Always doing the same thing which might or might not be graded.

Weekends so little time to play, always reflective journals from field visits.

Arguements and unhappiness within out sub groups, whose fault, the lecturer!!!

Why?!

Cuz she always give us things last minute, which no one in our class like.

But i like my class and my classmates but of course with some exception.
Some act as if they are so smart, but they are not.
Some act as if they are so good in everything and think that you are the most lousy.
Irritating, proud are ppl i dun like. Haha...

My class picture: after field visit we went to eat. YUMMY!!!!

Excited...

2007-08-11T09:29:00.001+08:00

Just back from my night duty, open the letter box...

Received a letter from Singapore Nurses Association, it was the information regards to the graduation ceremony that i longed for... It will be on the 12th Sept at Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel.
On that day i will be receiving mt testamur on the stage... ^_^

More money to my salary...
Haha...

Moments in life

2007-08-09T17:27:00.000+08:00

Has not been blogging for three months...
Busy lifestyles as usual, work, driving and shopping whenever i am free...
And there's life still go on.

I will receiving my bachelor certificate in September.
Driving test in October 4.
Going on leave next week, dear is also taking leave too. ^_^

Plan for my leave- 13/8/07 to 19/8/07
First thing first...
> To book air ticket for my next leave in end of october

Next...
> To complete my uncomplete puzzle with deardear

Then...
> Have plenty of rest

After which...
> My driving practical lessons

Last but not least and is my favorite...
> Gourmet (Food to fill my stomach)

Will blog again soon... 4 more days to leave...

Busy

2007-05-21T19:29:00.000+08:00

Looking at my blog few minutes ago, just realised that i have not been blogging for the last three months. Work and studies have make my schedule so tight, 24 hours is never enough. But for now, i can rest for some time as my studies have completed and now waiting for the certificate. I am taking my driving practical exam on the 4th Oct, hope i pass on the first attempt.

Gotta prepare for work, will be blogging soon...

Valentine day

2007-02-14T08:47:00.000+08:00

Today is the fifth year me n dear celebrating Vday. But today both of us are busy, nevermind, everyday is Vday.

Below are Vgifts...

To my dearest laogong,

Thanks for everything for all the past years. Thanks for allowing me to vent my anger on you and tolerating everything.

Love you always...

Disappointment

2007-02-11T10:18:00.000+08:00

Now a new girl is doing the schedule for our ward. The coming two weeks schedule is the second one that she is doing. I am so disappointed with her. When we requested for our shift, there will be a requested (r) behind it. Next week chinese new yr is coming. In the next two weeks i only requested for five requested and i had seven requested stated.

She is always like that, when i want a day off, she give me a sleeping day that means after night. how i rest! I requested day off means i have something on, why do i still get a sleeping day?! (It's worst then the previous schedule maker) Worst of the worst, in the coming week i did not requested for sleeping day nor day off on the 15/2/07, she put a sleeping day request!!! And after chinese new year i go back to work i want an afternoon, she give me morning that's so unfair. When i want to keep my 18/2/07 public holiday and use my day off cuz i want to work on friday, she says nevermind la, then in the first place, what's all those request for!

Oh my god!

There are days when she can put so many people on duty and now i just want to work on that day with only 7 staffs. She says nevermind. Since she don't want to give me, i will find the people who shall grant my request.

Regarding the requests, even without requests there is a request (r) behind, i shall photocopy one piece before she takes to do the schedule to see if that tally.

It's a total disappoinment in her.

Lonely

2007-01-24T09:40:00.000+08:00

More and more people in my ward are resignation and going off to school to further their studies. I am going to be lonely in the ward already. The nice people who taught me before and the friends whom i met in the ward are all leaving...

To my dearest friends: arlene n tyng

We met as strangers, not knowing each other...
Work brought us together, being one of the best friends...

Laughters we shared,
Jokes we created,
Arguements we had
We stand together...

Being there for one another,
Standing up for each other,
Helping each other when we fall,
So glad that we have each another...

Now we have had to part,
Wishing all the best to each of you,
Good luck in all the future endeavors...

Friends forever,
All the best...

Rainy days

2007-01-14T19:01:00.000+08:00

Everyday is rainy days.It's wet all over in Singapore. But i still like the rain and enjoyed the weather.

But the rainy seasons is going to stop soon...

Last day in SNA

2007-01-13T17:47:00.000+08:00

Today is my last day for my degree course. I started this course after ,my diploma in Aug 2005 with my friend, Chunli. We were always late for lessons,finally the last day, we are on time, once in a blue moon. Law is the module that i am taking today and i love that the most, my favourite module and the last one, that's why ppl always say save de best for the last!!!

When i first when to class at SNA, i was so disappointed with the facilities, let's see some of it...

The classroom, full of emptiness.

The pantry. Coffee,milk or tea?

During lessons...

Playing game; Sudoku

Caught playing.

During lunch, chunli wanted to eat the fried prawn noodle, one of the nice food around, let's see...

Waiting for the food,

Finally, the food arrived, Waited for 45 minutes!

Time for home...

See them during convocation ceremony!!!

New Beginning 2007

2007-01-03T08:17:00.000+08:00

Year 2006 is gone. Thinking back didn't achieve much in year 2006.

In year 2007, what's my resolution...

1) My degree in Feb...
2) Driving licence in May...
3) Travelling...
4) My dancing class...
4) Enjoyed everything i do!!!

Work had been tiring nowadays. Hope the five days work week will be back soon! Still hoping for that. With five days work week, in my off days i will be able to do so many many stuffs i like.

Irresponsible Act 2

2006-12-18T11:11:00.000+08:00

Another night of mine, a patient with history of congestive cardiac failure and diabetics metillus observed to have shortness of breath, vital signs was, 202/178mmHg, 125bpm with saturation room air 72%, blood glucose level 8.2mmol/l.

Informed the HO at once, also say the same thing. NOTED.

But after all the necessary things are done, putting up oxygen, doing electrocardiogram, etc. The patient become much better, vitals are back to normal range.

The doctor came 20 minutes later.

Guess where were he when we contacted him.
At SGH. Are house officers allowed to leave the hospital premises when they are on call?!

Irresponsible Act 1

2006-12-18T10:45:00.000+08:00

One day when i am on night duty, a patient blood pressure dropped and he felt giddy with chest discomfort. Called the doctor immediately after 3 consecutives of low blood pressure reading (58/33mmHg), said she will come to see the patient.

So we, nurses, did the blood investigations, electrocardiogram, oxygen and even set up the intravenous site for the doctor, running the drips.

Hoping that she will see the patient soon, but didn't.

2 hours later, she came to the ward, never reviewed the patient at all, just sitting in the doctors room doing her list for the morning rounds.

To all dearest doctors out there: I know the need of the list during the rounds, but IS THE LIST SO MUCH IMPORTANT COMPARE TO THE PATIENT'S LIFE?

Tarot Card- Me

2006-12-14T18:52:00.000+08:00

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight.

You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born.

This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love.

Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus.

She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

Christmas seasons

2006-12-07T19:26:00.000+08:00

Christmas is around the corner... It is time to shop and spend money again. They said bonus is coming, will be getting the payout on 15th Dec.

I want to buy this pair of shoes!!!

BMW M6 coupe! Dream car, $508 000!

Back to work

2006-11-24T19:21:00.000+08:00

My annual leave had ended a week ago. Been working for 3 nights. Not long yet not short but it is so tiring.

When i went back after my annual leave, realise that my leave balance of 6 days had been encashed... So disappointing. Was thinking to carried forward my 4 days of leave to next year so i can take four weeks of leave, but now only manage to have 3 weeks next year.

Now planning what to do for my next year leave, which will be 1 week in August, the other in Oct and 1 in Dec, hope next year deardear is able to take leave same as mine! I wanna go overseas, singapore is too boring, too small as well!

So now must save money, money is never enough for me to spend!!!

Quotes

2006-11-16T12:05:00.000+08:00

Great dancers are not great of their technique;
they are great because of their passion.

-Martha Graham-

Friends or Acquaintances

2006-11-06T14:47:00.000+08:00

Imagine yourself in the centre of the universe, the next circle around you will be lover;your closest, most intimate relationship. After which the next circle will be your family and friends. These will be the people that you love the most, choose to spend most time with, love you the most, allowing you to kick of your shoes and be yourself. How many of such people will we met in our life?

I have met some friends who will clare about friends forever are things like that by their side of mouth always, but how many will really treat you as their friend forever? Forever is the whole of life, how long will these friends be by your side?

I had met some nice and good friends in my secondary school time. Recently chat with a good friend of mine whom i last meet around a year ago online. Part of the conversation goes:

Elain: Wanna meet up?

Friend: Too long never meet le.

Elain: That's why i asked.

Friend: Too long never meet le, feel strange,no common topics.
Elain: Okie.

Someone once said that a real friend is someone you can be having a conversation with as they get on the plane, you don't see them for ten years and when they arrive back they carry on the conversation as they get off the plane like a moment hadn't passed. That's exactly how it is between good friends. So get what i mean, how many of such real friends will we met in life?

What a real friend does:

Being there, not just the good times...
Being there, when they need you in the early hours...
Being there, when they need you in the dark days...
Being there, in time of trouble and stress...
Let them cry on your shoulder...
Lend them a hanky...
Pat them on back to encourage them...
Make endless cups of tea...
Give them good advice...
Will be there to hold their hand...
Will be there just to listen...
Will be there when you don't want to be...
Will be there when all the other friends have fallen by wayside...
Will be there no matter what...

If you are going to be a friend, be a good friend.....

Thoughts

2006-11-06T12:57:00.000+08:00

This is going to be a new week, the second week of my leave.

Yesterday went out with my dear, this week he only can book out one day, it's so short. Definitely not eoungh to bring me out to shop and enjoy life. Went to specs shop, dear's specs was spoilt when he was in the camp during shooting. Haha. Luckily he has a pair of extra specs. Then he bought 2 pair of specs for standby, same as my brother need so many specs for national service. Waste of money, but i am also like that so cannot blame. I also bought a pair of coloured disposable lens but paid by deardear, just to try, hope it will be comfortable.

My 3000 words, most important thing to finish due on 13th Nov, but today till now i only written 650 words. Jigsaw puzzle, no time to do if i never finish my 3000 words.

Been going out with different people last week,been watching them, and thoughts have been flowing through.

Been working for a year, what i actually learned?
I work in a line which i will see different people everyday. Some i actually learn from them. The patients i seen, the family of theirs and even my own collegues, i met have taught me different things, different views and opinions of their lives. They have lots more experience then me in life where i can learn from. Some are really successful people, not in term of wealth and fame. Being successful in terms of being contented and happy, being part of the world.

Life and death are just part and parcel that human has to go thru to make their life complete. Life isn't that difficult, give some thoughts and we will get through it.

Missing you III

2006-11-04T11:12:00.000+08:00

When the sun brighten the skies,

you brighten up my life.

When the moon shone in the darken skies,

you are sleeping by my side.

When we found found each other,

we are fated for life.

Uneventful

2006-11-02T18:39:00.000+08:00

Today is the fourth day of my leave, it's another uneventful and boring day.

This laogong of mine everyday tell me maybe will have night out but in the end never come out yet. Already four days i had been so boring. Say today will have nights out, but just receive a call from him, NO NIGHT OUT DUE TO IPPT TOMORROW. :(

Yesterday went out with jasmine to shop and eat at compass point and tampines mall. Singapore is too small for me to spent my three weeks. Haiz!

me & jaS

Heard from my collegue, another patient has pass away yesterday, peacefully. Life is just so fragile, not knowing what will happen tomorrow.

My essay, 3000 words i just written 15o words. I just don't have the motivation to write it, though i know what to write, just plain lazy. Hope i will finish soon!

New Hairstyle

2006-10-30T23:35:00.000+08:00

Today i went to the salon to style my hair. Usually i don't go salon, cuz my hairdresser will be at her home to style my hair. So i have not been to a salon for almost 2 years. My dearest alice, please come back to work!

It was a bad experience. I will nv go back to that salon again. I don't like the way she cut my hair. Not nice, i think it is so unnatural. Like a wig now. Now my hair only to shoulder length, how to go to streets, so uncomfortable without long hair.

Think i have to wait for few months for it to grow long like what it was previously. So long, my goodness!

I miss my long hair so much!

Disney Stamp Collection

2006-10-30T08:30:00.000+08:00

Gift from dear for my birthday. Simple but i like it. =)
Thanks laogong!

Haze

2006-10-29T10:19:00.000+08:00

On a clear day. PSI 29

On a hazy day. PSI 107

Holidays

2006-10-26T16:12:00.000+08:00

After my night shift tonight, i will be going to leave for three weeks till 19/11/2006. Finally can have a good long rest. Though don't where i will be going, what i will be doing on my leave but at least i know i don't need to work.

But i need to complete my assignment again. Always assignment. Finish one then one more. Never ending. Haiz!

Then this tupid dear is not around ask me to complete the jigsaw puzzle myself. OMG! So boring!

Last week, i had to do four nights. Know what, people say do night will lost weight, but i gain weight instead, all the tibits and sugar drinks make me gain weight or maybe i sleep too much. Not a time to think where the weight come from, but i need to lose weight in my leave. Pls don't tempt me with food, but i will still search for food myself. Hee...

Hope i have a nice night tonight!

Missing you II

2006-10-19T09:42:00.000+08:00

Miss you so much, dear!!!

Nights

2006-10-16T12:21:00.000+08:00

This week from monday to thursday i will be doing night shift. It maybe tiring but think of my weekends off from friday to sunday, it's worth doing. Hope my nights are nice and in peace. The nurses that i am going to work with for the next four nights are nice. But the doctors i am going to work with are, OMG!

For the past few days, it had been so monotonous. Not much really happen, and nothing interesting. So boring!

Recently went shopping with my collegue, saw one set of 0.5carat jewellery set inclusive of ring, ear stucks and necklace only at $799 after discount. Still considering on weather it is worth buying. But it is nice. So i decided to buy, most probably. Just buy to pamper myself...

Love

2006-10-10T12:24:00.000+08:00

Today is a brand new day and i'll be doing afternoon shift later. This morning i was waken up by the ringing tone of my handphone. My best friend, message me 25 messages at one go. Thought what was happening. She was telling me the conflict about her and her 'boyfriend'.

She knew this guy since Nov2005, has been going out, studying together and doing things like what all couple has been doing all this while without any status even as a steady girlfriend. If i am her i will leave this guy long ago! But this guy is 8 years older than her. (Though we will also grow old one day.) Majority will say age doesn't matter. But i don't agree. To me, age matters alot, the thinking, views of life and metality are all different. Thou i am her best friend, i disagreed with this relationship in the first place. Haiz.

So coming to a year, this guy told my friend that he have met someone, his collegue who went Europe to study for 2 years. That guy was interested with her. Because he feels that the girl will be able to take care of the family in future. He told my friend that. Of course, we girls won't agreed that one guy is thinking about another girl when he and my friend is together.

What this guy likes to talk about is all those stuffs, always telling my friend to be mature, think carefully and nonsenses like that, Always has he own 'big boy ideas'. So autocratic! Thank god, my dear is not like that. But see what this guy is thinking about now. Worse of all, when my friend wanted to end everything with him, he doesn't wants to let go, still insisted on being good friends because you wanted to get the both of the worlds right? OH PLEASE! My friend didn't intend to be just friends with you only.

Wondering are all guys like that. Having to ask my friend to have a mature thinking, don't you find that you are more indecisive, navie and childish in handling relationships!

PS: Laogong, u better don't be like the guy above. If not then you know. Take care in camp k!

Love is strong yet delicate.
It can be broken.
To truly love is to understand this.
To be in love is to respect this.

- Stephen Packer -

Watch-NY3425

2006-10-10T01:37:00.000+08:00

Watch (DKNY, NY3425) that i want to have. But now only available in USA, hope it arrive Singapore soon.

I shown this watch to deardear, know what he says?! He always said that i am spending so much money on watches. It is just something for me to see the time. One will do. But i just like watches. Don't care.

Thoughts

2006-10-05T23:16:00.000+08:00

Finally i have completed my assignment and submitted it, suddenly realised that studying have been so stressful ever since i started my degree. It had been a year and i am going to complete soon, this is the second last module already. Cannot give up!!!

After our class today, me and my friend, one of my good friend ba, Chunli went shopping at bugis. Though my birthday is still two weeks away, i have already receive my birthday gift. Thanks so much for the gift and spend time shopping with me, muackz!

My deardear still in life range shooting not back yet. Already eleven plus, still have not come back. Didn't hear his voice for two days, miss him so much.

Today i do not need to work, my collegue called up to talk to me regarding her busy day. Complaining that how unreasonable her supervisior was. I am not good in consoling people. Just give her a listening ear, hope she will forget what happen today, have a good night rest and look forward tomorrow. Cheers~

Missing you I

2006-10-04T22:32:00.000+08:00

Whenever we are far apart,

Our bonds still hold us close,

The messages we shared,

Remind us what is dear.

We close our eyes and see the face,

Which fills our heart with glee,

Counting the hours we are apart,

Remembering that you are once close to me.

Frustrations

2006-10-04T19:00:00.000+08:00

For an hour ago, i have been doing a slide show using the internet. And guess what happen, the webpage got sstuck and i refresh it, it turns out a new website and i have to redo everything again. Urgh!

Tomorrow i am having lessons again. Got to finish my assignment fast. Yet i only completed less then a quarter. Feel so lazy to go to class nowadays. Maybe just that i am too tired with work.

After working for one year, dealing with different characteristics of people, collegues, clients and even some ridiculous doctors making foolish decision wasting the patient time as well as their money make me feel so tired. Things change so much in just one year. Working with the same people doesn't mean that they still have the same attitude as before. But life still have to go on. Really appreciate those people who have taught and guide me through this year.

Today is dad's birthday. Happy birthday to him! When his birthday is here, my birthday is also coming soon. I'll be a year older again. Wondering how will be celebrating my birthday again this year, it's still a mystery.....

New beginning

2006-09-30T14:42:00.000+08:00

This is my second blog. It's been a year since i had not update my previous blog nor put in any entry. So i had forgotten the user name & password. Hope this new blog won't have the same problem...