I only manage to sleep at 4am, and now 8.40am I am awake already, my hands and legs are cold. Awaken by the dream of mine, I am crazy, literally I dreamt of you and her. The distance bewteen us have not make me not to remember you but to make me miss you even more. I hate myself for doing all these. I hate myself when it come to nights, I feel so uneasy, I am not suppose to be like this, I am on leave and I must have plenty of rest. However...

YOU RUIN MY LEAVE, MY MOOD, LET ME CANNOT GO TO SLEEP. FOR SO LONG I WANTED TO HAVE A GOOD AND LONG REST, BUT I CAN'T. I AM CONFUSED NOW, YOU ARE MAKING ME CONFUSED, MAKING ME LOST MY MIND. I AM SICK, I FEEL SO HURT, SO MUCH IN PAIN, SO DEEP THAT WORDS CAN NO LONGER DESCRIBE MY UTMOST FEELING ANYMORE!